cardinalgirl75

I can say without a doubt that when I sat at the computer a year ago and wrote out my list of New Year's Resolutions, I had no idea where this year was going to take me.  So much happened that there are times when I still can't quite wrap my head around it, try though I might.  I've contemplated writing another set of New Year's Resolutions, but looking back at how I did on the ones I wrote out for last year, I'm not sure I should set myself up for that:

1) Continue my diet and exercise regimen in order to maintain my weight.  In this, I was successful until the end of the year, but that was because I was recovering from surgery and let myself slide a bit.  But I'm still fifteen pounds lighter today than I was a year ago at this time, and once I'm back in the gym regularly, I'll get back to where I was before.

2) Read 100 books this year.  I managed this one by the skin of my teeth--102 books read altogether.  The first book was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson, and the last was Faithful Place by Tana French.  Of course, at least two months of reading was devoted to George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, and his books should count double considering how damned long they are.  Given that, 102 books is pretty good.  And I did discover a few new authors this year, including both Martin and French (I'm currently reading French's most recent effort, Broken Harbor), along with Darynda Jones, whose wise-cracking Grim Reaper, Charley Davidson, was endearing, and Laura Lippman.

3) Write at least 1000 words a day.  Nope.  I did write two long LuRe stories this year--"If I Could Be Where You Are" clocked in at 72,000 words, while "Waiting for You" was about 85,000.  My shorter pieces probably added another 10,000-20,000 words to that, for a grand total of about 175,000 words for the year.  And really, given that two years ago, I didn't think I'd ever be able to write anything again, I shouldn't complain.  I'd just hoped to have a bit more accomplished than I got done.  There were various reasons why this didn't happen--real life threw me a couple of big-time curve balls in addition to the usual daily grind.  One I knew was coming, although even I couldn't have expected just how emotional a roller coaster the union decertification vote was going to be.  The other, my job promotion, I couldn't have seen coming with the most powerful telescope on Earth.  When it comes down to it, though, I know I could've been a little more productive.  At the very least, I wish I could've finished off my LuRe Bingo.

4) Watch 50 movies I've never seen this year.  Not even close.  I watched 32 movies this year total.  And I came to a decision about something.  I'm not going to beat myself up if I've never been interested in watching the original Footloose or feel like an idiot because I've never seen The African Queen.  I'm going to watch the movies I want to watch, so if that means watching Drop Dead Gorgeous for the fiftieth time because darn it, I just can't help but like that movie, then that's what I'm going to do.

5) Listen to at least one audiobook a month.  Audiobook total for last year: 37.  Did I blow this one out of the water or what?  It helped that my gym workouts went from forty-five minutes to almost an hour and a half at least five times a week, in addition to the forty minutes I spent in the car going to and from work.  The year started with Schindler's List and ended with Holiday in Death and in between saw everything from A Game of Thrones to Daughters of Eve.  An excellent year's work here.

6) Work on paying off my debts.  The good--I made a nice dent in this goal.  The bad--I had another elective surgery, thus wiping out all the progress I made.  The good--I'm done with surgery, so anything I pay off this year will stay paid off.

So there you have it, 2012 as seen through my New Year's Resolutions.  I started out by saying that I might not make them for 2013, but who am I kidding?  I'm a masochist at heart.  Not only will I have resolutions, they'll probably be the same damned ones I had for this year.

I feel a bit odd as March comes to an end.  I did get several books read--I spent every minute from the time I woke up yesterday to the time I finished it reading J.R. Ward's latest, Lover Reborn--and I lost three more pounds on my diet.  While I didn't quite make the one-movie-a-day objective I wanted to reach in March, I did watch quite a few movies, including some old favorites I haven't revisited in a while.  I might do another Movie Madness month later in the year--but the next couple of months I absolutely have to devote to my writing.  I have to.  For one thing, I'm not only signed up for the LuRe Reverse Big Bang, I signed up for two stories, due in May.  Then there's my LuRe Bingo card, which I have four stories started on--but they aren't stories that will get me a Bingo.  Then there's the 300-pound gorilla of a story idea which I still love--but isn't gelling like I hoped it would.  Not to mention the story which had me going through the Nuke storyline.  I think my problem is that I have too many story ideas running around my head and because of it, I can't seem to focus on just one.  Last summer, I had one big idea--and it became Nobody's Angel.  I had a couple of little ideas, but they were easy to set aside because I had a deadline and because I was able to keep focused on that one idea.  What I need to do is get back to that place, where I pick an idea and run with it, and leave the others behind for now.

Easier said than done, though.

You ever had one of those days where you can eat and eat and eat and never quite feel full?

I had one of those days today, and I suspect it's knocked out all the progress I made on my diet this week.  I swear, every time I turned around today, I was reaching for something to eat.  Or I was being awakened at 5:30 in the morning because my sister had to work at 7 am and Dad was making biscuits and gravy.  Or I was just bored, which is usually when I turn to the food.  Or the food called to me, reminding me it was there, waiting to be eaten.

My "cheat day," which is the day I allow myself to eat what I want without feeling too guilty about it, is supposed to be tomorrow.  But between going out to eat at Lonestar with a work friend before going to see a movie last night, and today's fiasco, I'm not going to be cheating tomorrow.

I hope.

No writing done the last couple of days--I've got a to-do list about a mile long that I've been trying to get done since I had a four-day weekend.  So far, I haven't done a whole heck of a lot on the list, but I still have two days to go.  Maybe if I work on it all day tomorrow, and throw out the leftover junk I had from today, maybe I'll stay on my diet.  And maybe this will be the week when I tell myself that I've got to give up the cheat days, because all I'm doing is rewarding myself with food, which is not a good thing.

In the meantime, I may have to avoid the bathroom scale for a week or two.  Or three.

When I said I planned to start my New Year's Resolutions on Monday, I really did mean it. Well, except for the reading thing--I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Sunday, starting off my resolution to read more this year. But then I got sick Sunday night. And spent the entire night being sick. So I spent all day Monday resting instead of going to the gym or doing any writing at all. I guess you could make a case that I stuck to my diet, since I hardly ate anything. And I did get a movie watched--I saw The Help, which I thought was very good.

I hoped to get off to a belated start on Tuesday, but then I got called into work early. Yesterday, I had a staff meeting. And trying to write anything at work is impossible right now because all of my December paperwork has to be in by the end of the week, so I'm working my fingers to the bone getting that finished.

The good news is, I'm finally back at the gym. After two months away, I feel weird only being there for forty-five minutes instead of my usual hour to hour-and-fifteen. I tell myself I'm going to work my way back to that, but right now, I'm afraid I won't be able to. Or that I won't want to. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes, and how I feel.

But the writing...I may have to wait to get started on it next week, since the rest of this week is going to be full of other activities. :(

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